Age-appropriate social skills play an important role in making friends, which can be difficult for children with autism. Imagine what it’s like to make friends without being able to read social cues such as body language, facial expressions and intonation. This is the reason why about 52% of children with autism spectrum disorders (ASD) do not have friends at school.
Getting used to a group activity area
It is often helpful to visit an empty classroom, group activity area or playground with your child when there are no other children there. You can play in the empty room with your child in his favorite games, giving him all his favorite encouragement without any restrictions. If the child begins to think of this place as something very good, it will be easier for him or her to adjust to the company of other children.
Getting used to being in a group of children
Desensitization is the gradual desensitization to unpleasant stimuli. In order to desensitize a child to being in a group of children, it is necessary to bring the child to the group for very short periods of time. During these short periods, provide lots and lots of encouragement and leave immediately after the encouragement without waiting for the first signs of stress.
Gradually increase the length of time the child is in the group as the child’s tolerance for this environment grows. It is advisable to bring all of the child’s favorite rewards to the group, at least at first, to establish a mix between rewards and the group.
Steps to successful friendships for children with autism
- Help your child understand what it means to be a friend
It may look too simple, but your child needs to understand who a friend is. He or she can’t be a friend if he or she can’t explain what it means. Try to keep it simple. Ask, “Do you like being with kids who call you names?” and “Do you like being with people who say nice things to you?” It can be hard for young children to grasp abstract concepts, especially those with autism. Express yourself as literally as you can. Choose simple and straightforward speech: “Friends are kind to you and say words that lift your spirits.”
- Visual models such as social stories
Often children with autism learn better when they can see or read what they need to do. Social stories explain a specific situation to a child using pictures and words. A script or picture of the conversation process can help your child understand the basics of talking to a friend.
- Practice, practice, practice
Children with autism need a little more time and repetition to learn skills. Practicing with your child can help him or her feel more comfortable with the process and work out any “bumps” before he or she encounters them in a real situation. Practice different aspects of building friendships, such as how to ask questions, answer questions, share toys, and offer activities. Have your child practice with a sibling, neighbors, or cousins the same age as him or her. Choose patient people who know your child well – he or she should feel safe when practicing.
- Surround your child with children with similar interests
Common interests are an important factor in developing and maintaining friendships. It’s hard to form a friendship with someone with whom you have nothing in common. If your child likes to be creative, enroll him or her in an art class. If your child likes science, find a young scientists group. Make sure your child’s peers are in these groups so they observe age-appropriate behavior.
- Focus on long-term success
Developing new skills takes time. It won’t happen overnight. Social skills continue to develop as the child gets older. Friendships are not made at age four the same way they are made at age 14. Keep practicing to help your child develop age-appropriate social skills.
- Have fun
If making friends is a job-like task for a child, our children are more likely to avoid these interactions. Watching your children learn and grow is wonderful, but it can also be stressful. If your child sees you feeling stressed, they may be stressed too. Support your child and make the process as fun and exciting as possible.
Creating structure and predictability for children with autism
Children with autism often feel more confident in structured and predictable environments. When interactions with friends have a clear structure, such as predetermined play times or repetitive scenarios, it helps the child feel more comfortable. Setting simple rules, such as “we play toys for 15 minutes and then take a break,” helps avoid anxiety and surprises that can cause stress.
That said, it’s important to remember that children with autism can be sensitive to changes in routines, and even small deviations can cause them anxiety. Therefore, it is important to work to make such changes predictable for the child so that they can adapt and not perceive the changes as a threat.
Support from parents and professionals
To help a child build friendships, it is important for parents to create a supportive environment in which the child can feel confident. Sometimes it is worth seeking the help of professionals, such as psychologists or behavior analysts, who can suggest specific techniques and strategies for working on social skills.
In addition, working with therapists can be helpful in terms of developing social skills, understanding the emotions of others, and managing stress and anxiety in social situations. In conjunction with parents, these professionals may use various techniques, such as behavioral therapy or sensory integration, to help the child adjust to social interactions.
The role of patience and consistency in building friendships for children with autism
Patience and consistency are important on the journey to becoming friends with children with autism. Progress can be slow and it is important not to rush through assessments or expectations. Each child is unique and develops at their own pace, and what may be easy and natural for one child may be a real challenge for another. Parents should support their child every step of the way, celebrating even the smallest successes.
Many children with autism may begin to take their first steps toward friendship through socializing with animals, toys, or even virtual characters before moving on to live people. This is a normal process and it is important to respect it by creating a safe and understanding environment for the child.
Conclusion
Making friends for a child with autism is a complex but important process that requires time, patience and systematic work on the part of both parents and professionals. Every child should be given the opportunity to develop their social skills at their own pace while providing structure, predictability, and a supportive environment. A child with autism may face challenges, but with patience, understanding and the right methods, they can learn to make friendships and develop healthy social connections.
It is important to remember that every step toward friendship is an accomplishment, and even small successes should be celebrated and appreciated. Parents and loved ones should support their child by helping them learn to interact with the world around them, recognize their own emotions and those of others, and use the skills they have learned in real-life situations. The main thing is love, support and willingness to walk this path together with the child.
